First of all, this should be the last time this blog will appear on my personal Facebook page. I plan on having the Danae Wulfe author page up by next Wednesday, and all ‘writing’ posts will be coming from there. I don’t plan on cross posting. If you have enjoyed reading these blogs or my other posts, please keep an eye out for the new page.
Word count for the Beta draft is 144,221. I’m five chapters from the end. I’m getting excited to finish, do some final editing, make up a few more ‘Sci-fi’ words, and give it to some Beta readers. I’m noticing my brain seems to be a different shape then when I started. Is this normal?
That should be enough words to keep the Facebook post clean, so lets get down to the dirty bits. 18 and over, please!
Ok, you have decided what kinds of words you are going to use for your sex scene, unless your character decided for you. (Mine did.)
Now, you have to decide how detailed you are going to get. Vague descriptions, or as detailed as a sex manual. Maybe somewhere in between? Are you a nearsighted nun describing something seen through a frosted window? The average person? A doctor describing a procedure performed under strong lights? A professional dominatrix paid by the dirty word?
Do you know what? Doesn’t matter. No matter what you choose, lots of people will think you are wrong, and a bad writer.
I’ll admit it, the first time I read a modern graphic sex scene, I was shocked. I kept feeling that I was reading something Not Allowed and couldn’t understand why it was just sitting on a shelf, where anyone could pick it up. It should have been wrapped in brown paper and behind the counter, requiring you to ask for it. The pictures it made in my head, so… intense. So real. So… erotic.
e-rot-ic adj. 1. Of or concerning sexual love and desire; amatory. 2.Tending to arouse sexual desire.
The more research I do, on writers, erotica, and publishers, the more I find a subtle-and not so subtle-disapproval for writers and publishers who use graphic depictions, even by those who consider themselves unbiased. It’s labeled ‘porn’, regardless of the depth of the story, and disregarded as serious writing, BUT somehow makes sales. Sometimes, LOTS of sales, but that apparently only compounds its offenses.
I get it, as a society we are struggling with our sexuality, both as individuals and as ‘groups’. We still seem to think we have the right to decide if someone is too slutty, too prudish, too confused or just wrong. You want to have an opinion? Great. It’s normal for the mind to form opinions based on your experiences. Just don’t expect everyone else to subscribe to your particular flavor of morality.
Books are the ultimate in virtual reality. In its pages you can explore issues, fears, hopes and fantasies. They can pose the big questions, in a safe but challenging environment. What bothers you about ‘Tom Sawyer’ or ‘The Color Purple’ or ‘Atlas Shrugged’ or ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ or…
Did I lose you? Possibly, but that’s ok. It’s a hot button, for a lot of people.
Back to the word ‘erotic’. The definition mentions sexual love. So, if I’m doing my job right, as a writer, the description of a first touch, or a first kiss, should be considered ‘erotic’, just as much as the first penetration. Before, during, and after a sexual encounter is an especially open and vulnerable point in a relationship.
Some religions think there are three points that you can touch spiritual enlightenment; birth, sex, and death. Sex is the only one of those you can normally do more than once. Personally, I believe this is why the sex act changes a relationship permanently, either for good or for bad.
Heck, if I am doing my job, the clenched fist hitting the face of your enemy should FEEL visceral. (Hopefully, not erotic.) Also, you should FEEL as if you are piloting the space craft, dancing at the Ball, eating the weird foods, and consoling your best friend. Why should I flinch away from sex?
You’re still thinking about ‘Fifty Shades’, aren’t you? sigh.
Look for my next blog, Erotica; Guilty Pleasure or Evil Incarnate? In the interim, leave a comment and we can discuss things…