Nobody writes graphic descriptions in their spell casting scenes, and if you do you will look like a big stupid head. Here’s an arbitrary list of rules; if you don’t pay attention your book will suck, you will suck, and you will get an award for Sucky Writing.
- Don’t be graphic. Don’t use words like rod, staff or wand, or how it sparkles and vibrates. It’s tacky, and we know you have that thing helping you make magic. Everybody has one.
- Don’t talk about the mechanics of magic. We all know it’s swish and flick. Don’t go describing it.
- Don’t describe the results. Don’t tell us how the character fell to the ground afterwards, gasping for breath, exhausted from expending so much energy. Or how they are buzzed from the residue of making magic; it’s icky.
- Don’t focus on the magical act. Tell me about the smell of dog across the street, or the way the light makes a pattern on the wall.
- Less is more. You must make your reader struggle to understand that a magic spell is being cast, or what is the point of writing? How else are you going to trick them into re-reading your wonderful words?
Does this look familiar? Despite the excessive level of snark, it’s pretty close to the articles that keep crossing my Facebook and Twitter feed. If you haven’t already figured it out, I’m tired of the “How to Write Sex Scenes” articles regurgitating the same tips. Why do so many different article writers use the same phrases over and over? Is there some master article that they are all paraphrasing? Do you get paid a bonus if you re-write and re-post these sex scene shaming tips?
Why aren’t there just as many articles about how to properly write a spell casting scene, or a fight scene, or any other specific type of scene. I don’t know how many badly written fistfights I’ve glossed over because it’s a list of moves, and not putting me in the moment. However, I don’t decide the writer is worthless based on that scene.
Can’t we–as writers–judge for ourselves if we are using the right tone for our stories? As a culture, we are trying to be more openminded about sexuality and gender. Can’t our characters reflect that, unafraid to express their sexuality, or must they all be stuck in the morals of a past century?
I also have a real pet peeve about how sentences are excised from books, then held up as bad writing for all to see. What about context? Maybe it’s a bit purple, but was it a natural progression in the story? What is purple for one book could be fine for the next, and too weak for the following book. What one reader thinks is too purple could be acceptable for the next person.
I understand that a lot of people may not like my writing style, but I’m a proud member of the Order of the Occult Hand (although they haven’t told me what the current phrase is, the Bastards). Euphuisms–and even clichés–are your friends, because they evoke an immediate reaction.
Sex can be a lot of things, good and bad. Sometimes it makes you hyper-focused or feel your existence is exploding into everything. Sometimes it’s badly awkward or happening for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes it’s so intimate that you feel as if you are inside your partner’s soul. I reserve the right to tell the story the way it wants to be told. You reserve the right to not read it.