That’s Me In The Corner…

inktober19misfit

 

That’s me hiding from the spotlight.  Hiding from notice.

I don’t think I’ve really written in a year, and barely edited my WIP in all that time. I still think of myself as a writer, but maybe a better descriptor would be storyteller.

But in the last six years of learning to write with the intention of publishing, I have discovered HOW MANY other writers are trying to do the same thing. So many people are trying to use their art as their side hustle, or even trying to survive off it.  It’s shocking.  And I, now, have the privilege of a guaranteed home and food, for me and my child, so I’ve started going to Patreon to support artists and writers who don’t have that.

So, I may never publish.  I don’t think there is anything to say, that hasn’t been covered by those more deserving of a voice.

And that’s ok. I’ll still write, just for me, to tell myself stories.  In ten years, that could change, but the future is a distant place, and each day is only one step closer.

BUT, WAIT!  There’s more!

Somewhere in the last two years I remembered how important comic books were in my childhood. Then graphic novels.  Art in general.  My first paying gig was pictures of unicorns for my fourth grade classmates for 25 cents a pop.  I made $1.50. That was probably my last paying gig, back in 78 (?).

ANYWAY, art was something I put away when I turned 18, just like writing.  Without the resources to do art for a living, I had to work.  Retail. (URG) And then life moved on, as it does.

I don’t regret the life I had, but I do regret the thought that art was for other people.  If only I had kept practicing, all those years…

But I’m moving forward.  I’m changing and growing.  In the past year I’ve made a point to do art nearly every day.  I feel good about it, and even though it still looks amateur to my eyes, I see flashes of something deeper.  Something real.  I just need to master the mediums (and that takes decades) and something deeper will be uncovered.  It’s a little exciting.

My third Inktober sparked a lot of rough ideas, even if I’m still short five pieces. I’ll get those done, and then start the refining process. I was surprised when I realized art ALSO has rough drafts that are crap, but you keep doing it, and it gets better as you learn.  Exciting!

I may try to share all of this process, here, since I still love words so much, and spare the long winded musings from the friends on the other social platforms.  Oh, I have an instgram account, now, for the art I’m willing to share. I may never try to sell it.  https://www.instagram.com/danaewulfe/

So, I’m changing the focus of this blog, and maybe the layout, too.  I’m not in a hurry.  I’ve never been fast, or first, but I’m stubborn.  And, persistent.  Goat-headed, even.

And, maybe I’ll never publish, or sell more art, but it’s about self-expression, now.

And that’s ok.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s