The Low-Budget Writing Program: Part 3 Take Over the Literary World!

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This is a short post since it’s my vacation week, and there aren’t many writers tackling how to take over the literary world.

To date I have only found John Warner, the master of the fake famous writer quote, in the form of his helpful “Fondling Your Muse” (Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati 2005).  From the confusing dedication to the ridiculous blurbs on the back of the book, it’s packed with awful rules-to-live-by and terrible advice. He explains how and why to write your Manifesto, the place you alternately smash all writers who have come before AND promise to be the light in a dark, sewer-like world.  He also touches on the importance of preparing your Acceptance speech for all those awards you are going to receive.  Don’t miss the quiz, “So You Want To Be A Writer,” that proves only a self-destructive ego-maniac would choose to be a writer.  There is also some stuff about writing, like plot, character, and point of view and such nonsense.  I wasn’t paying attention.  I was envisioning the life of wealthy ease he promised if I followed his path to writerly fame.

Seriously, if you need to share in venting about the ridiculous contradictions of a writer’s life, or you just need a break from Serious Writer Stuff, pick it up and enjoy.

If you missed last week’s post, “The Monster in My Manuscript,” it was about books that will help you analyze and revise your rough draft.

Next week I will start in on the topic of syntax and grammar, in “How to Slay the Many-Headed Grammar Hydra!” [OR, I will keep putting that blog off, in a state of numb panic over my inexperience, and next post about putting your manuscript in the garbage.]

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My Prestigeous, But Low-Budget, Writing Program

 

 

 

For those of you keeping track I napped my way out of the post-finished-manuscript funk after about 48 hours.  For someone who has problems bouncing back from depression I consider that fairly good.  I couldn’t let go of that fictional world, so I spent the last week typing up the short stories that occur about the same time as the main story.  They may never see the light of day, or they could be freebies for those future readers interested in my world.

So now, I am tackling the Editing…

<cue dramatic music>

While I was writing this manuscript, I realized my extremely shaky grasp of spelling (due to undiagnosed dyslexia) and a high school level of grammar (from thirty years ago-eek!) was just not going to cut in the fast-paced World of Publishing, independent or traditional.  So, OCD Capricorn that I am, I studied, I organized, and I thought it through.

The books I found in my local used book store, because I’m broke, were my starting points.  I learned from Stephen King that my new method of writing was OK, even though it was the opposite of what I was taught.  Terry Brooks explained how to do it properly, like I was taught, but to just keep going if that didn’t work.  Christopher Vogler took me on the hero’s journey in a way I understood, while Kim Hudson gave the female counterpoint.  John Warner taught me to laugh with the muse.  Alice W. Flaherty explained exactly what was wrong with my brain to make me a writer.  James Frey helped me push the story deeper, with hooks for the reader.  Noah Lukeman, while rolling his eyes, and in a Sahara dry tone, explained how to not be a total idiot, and bore my readers to death.

Currently, Elizabeth Benedict is explaining to me that it is OK for a book to have sex scenes, while not overdoing it… unless that is what the story needs.  Next on the pile is my very own Strunk & White, just brought home from a used book store like it was the Holy Grail.  (I’m not kidding, angelic voices sang as it was brought into the house.)  Below that is a couple of grammar books, written in catchy ways that will hopefully push past my weird memory blocks, and giving me a better working grasp of rules and modern usages.

I’ve learned a ton of things from these writers, and they have pointed me toward even more books; both about writing and great fiction that I have missed.  My ‘To Read’ list is massive, and judging what is next is becoming impossible.  Still, I persevere, hungry for more.  And frankly, all this newfound knowledge should have ripped my manuscript to pieces.

But, it didn’t.

It tweaked, it clarified, and it deepened.  It showed me ways to reach the reader without hitting them over the head with my ideas.  While I was learning to tell a ‘damn good story’ with words, I kept finding my characters and story, hitting the important points these teachers were making, over and over.  I started to think that I may have something, maybe something good enough for someone else to read, maybe even enjoy.

It gave me hope.

I have stories to tell, and I’m going to do that.  I hope you’ll join me, and tell me some in return.

Do you have any favorite books about writing?